Today was food parcel day and was filled with a plethora of emotions.
Pre-food parcel distribution discussion: We started giving ourselves daily challenges. Today’s challenge is appreciating presence. The challenge was to get to know the community members who were receiving food parcels, to strike up conversation, inquire about their story and simply listen. Many of these people have lost more of their family members and don’t have anyone to talk to so the presence of a person to just listen to them rejoice, cry, vent or just enjoy the company.
The day began with unloading the trucks of the contents of the parcels. It was exciting and the first time that we were really active and getting to channel our emotions to exercising which was a nice relief. The group and set of workers worked very efficiently together and the group dynamic changed in a positive way. As the food parcels were assembled and the women and children filed in a stream of sadness, guilt and frustration came over me. We had to practice ambiguity and adaptive leadership throughout the day as challenges arose such as a delay with the trucks, assembling the parcels in the most appropriate manner, and as we interacted with the community members. It was difficult to see some of these people and the conditions they were in, some suffering from the effects of HIV/AIDS, other not having having eaten for a day to two and children helpless to their own needs. A question or concept that seemed to stay with me all day was the fact of sustainability. Is it more effective to teach a man to fish or provide fish for him? How will these food parcels effect the next month? Before we began administering the parcels, the pastor began by saying that the point was not to make us feel guilty or bad but to work as a support system as we help them survive. While we assisted them with the transport of their food, we were able to have deep conversation and get to know the personal stories and struggles these people endure. One woman in particular told me her story: she was a widow whose two children had passed away. She was lonely and scared and was missing the presence and feeling of safety that a man brought to the house. She also told me about how she was sad that she was unable to have celebration for her grandson’s birthday. Another story was about a woman who did not elaborate on her life story but preached to me about people’s mindset on life. She explained that there is no use in feeling sad, hopeless, or sorry for oneself when it doesn’t solve any issues. One needs to be optimistic and positive about life, use God and the community members as support to get through the hard times and celebrate the good. A positive outlook can lead to solving challenges and finding new opportunities much more than thinking pessimistically. Thus, I left the food parcel day with uplifting and appreciative thoughts.
After most of the parcels were distributed, buses were sent into the community to give parcels to those who were physically unable to get to JL Zwane. I was not present for this particular experience but some of my classmates were… here is what they encountered:
A left over parcel was given to a high school boy who was an active member of the church. As he welcomed the distributers into him home. He started talking/showing is life to them, the couch in which is drunken brother spent his days versus his room where he reads college course guides for fun as he dreams to attend a university and provide for his two younger siblings and encourage them to seek a better life. As his brother wastes away he is keeping a positive outlook and always striving to do better. He was truly deserving of the food. The students also “happened to have: the business card for These Numbers Have Faces. They gave him the contact and explained the programs purpose. He expressed that he was grateful and that he would contact them. After hearing the story I am SO SO SO appreciative for the opportunities that have come available to me and that I have a supportive family who is with me each step of the way. I only hope that this boy excels in life and works hard to get where he wants to be.
Meanwhile, I was participating in the tutoring session at the Rainbow afterschool program. Through the week we have been able to participate, but today was different. I was in the 1st grade room (following the chaos of the 4th grade room yesterday). I was with a young girl who was very smart for her age, extremely polite and proper and beautiful. As we worked together we formed a strong bond. I showed her learning tricks which she caught onto quickly and she told me about her schooling and how much she loved to learn. She was the most mature 1st grader I have ever encountered. The day came to and end and it was time for us to be going. I gave her a hug and wished her well and she whispered in my ear, “I am happy to be with you, I wish you didn’t have to go, I don’t want to go home again.” Her friend sitting next to her shared a little of our experience and refused to let go of my hand as we exited the classroom. It was by far the hardest thing for me to walk away from and the first thing that made me break down and cry. It made me realize how much I value family and a strong support system. Without these things, I would never have had the chance to experience things like this and I would never have the strength to get through experiences like this. The day ended and we returned to our host families where their faces didn’t leave my mind.
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