Some of the experiences we had this week brought about common realization; such as the effect of presence and listening, the effect of mindset on daily living, and the effect of community in personal development.
One concept that was reinforced before almost everything that we did was being present and actively listening to what our gust had to say and try and make sense of it in the context of the bigger picture in the community. Not only did being present mean consciously being aware of what was happening, it also meant simply being the human presence for someone to use in order to express their feelings, talk through issues, and embrace the company of another person. One example of this was our visit was Lydia. As she told us her story about her struggles with HIV and raising a son born with HIV on top of many other defects, I realized that just giving her the chance to talk through her experiences is an active form of coping with them. It allows her to express built up emotions that may have been restricting her from performing activities of daily living and dealing with challenges that may or may not have presented themselves. Many people, like Lydia, may not have people who accept her and her son’s disease, who don’t want to see the problems within the community or who don’t want to feel the pain of another, so they block them out and don’t allow them to show their true colors. Thus, I was able to first-hand experience the power of presence and how important it is to recognize and listen to those suffering in the community.
The food parcel day was when my recognition for the effect of positive mindset was solidified. It was amazing to see the black and white picture that I got from talking with two separate women. One woman used my presence as a way to vent about her emotions (which is great, because everyone needs to vent), but as she continued, her constructive venting turned into complaining and feeling bad, ashamed, and worthless. I concluded the conversation by trying to help her find some good that came out of her story and the day in general; one thing that would lift her spirits and give her hope. We left the conversation with a smile and I continued on with my work of distributing the parcels. A while later I encountered an old woman who had a certain pizazz to her step. I went to help her and before I even got her name, she began preaching to me about how grateful she was of this program and our help. She didn’t tell me much about her life or the struggles that she had endured, but she told me about her relationship with the church and with God and that without the support of the congregation, she wouldn’t have known where she would have ended up. She talked about how beautiful South Africa was and that she wouldn’t have wanted to grow up and live any other place. She explained all of the things that she wanted to do to improve the community and that the youth was the only way (which we bonded about because of my love for children). As the conversation came to an end she told me to keep my chin up. She told me that the only way to conquer the hard stuff was to celebrate the good stuff. She told me not to worry about her and her community members and to leave here celebrating the newly formed friendship. I wonder after having the two separate encounters, if my approach with the first woman helped her get through the day. Did she always think negatively, and if so, how did that affect each and every day? How did the second woman come to have the mindset that she did? How does she nurture that mindset to not drift towards negativity? She really inspired me to look to the good things in life and celebrate their occurrence and then use the power of positivity to help cope and get through the rough times. I only wish the best for these people and hope that those with positive outlooks on like can help those who don’t and make them see the good in life and just how beautiful it can be.
After all of the experiences and emotions this week, I came to one last conclusion: the positive effect that community has on personal growth. Each of the experiences that I discussed in my previous blog postings have all given me a different taste of how community effects people’s lives and how it really aids in personal growth and development. One place where I saw community building within JL Zwane was with the youth group. The church itself is a developing community with many positive things coming out of it, but the youth group, I feel, is a place where the youth community is explored and can easily be taken outside the church’s four walls and into the community where they are involved in and experiencing a variety of different things. It impressed me how open they were to discussing their personal lives and how accepting they were of all of our different backgrounds and genuinely interested in what we had to say. From the beginning they welcomed us with warm arms into their group and the church community and tried to get to know us before judging. They encourage people to speak out and voice their concerns and issues they are having in the community. They provide an open, safe, and nonjudgmental space where people feel comforted to share those opinions. We can learn a lot from their willingness and ability to go above and beyond for their fellow community members.
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