Tuesday 11/25/14 Homesick and after two months I need a vent session so if you don't want to listen to me complain... skip to the next post.

So I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning... figuratively and literally. Figuratively -- First of all woke up in the early hours of the morning to a cat somewhere near my bedroom window that was clearly struggling to some extent and being ridiculously loud. It continued for at least an hour while I drifted in and out of sleep and then I finally woke up to the shrill sounds of a dog and cat having some sort of battle/confrontation. It was awful and made me want to cry. There was no hope for going back to sleep after that.
Literally -- So the mattresses here aren't really mattresses at all... more like a thick pad on top of wood panels. There are four beds in my room but I am the only one occupying the room. After the first two nights of waking up in incredible back pain, I decide to throw one of the other mattresses under mine for a little extra padding. Mistake. Since there is nothing to these mattresses, I woke up in an even bigger ass print of a hole in the mattress than before and in an equal amount of back pain. To make matters worse, I have a million bug bites because apparently the bugs here are immune to the damn 98% DEET bug spray that I have been infecting myself with at all times, so I have been having a difficult time sleeping through the night with the heat, the itching bug bites, and my back. Thank god for melatonin because I would be struggling big time without it.
Today was my first day in the Women's hospital and I was so excited about it. I tried so hard to put those silly things aside so that I could enjoy the day in the hospital. After a wonderful morning full of births and conversations with some of the English speaking nurses, listening to interesting stories and learning the comparisons to US procedures in the delivery room, I felt incredibly homesick for my job back in the states. I wanted desperately to help the way that I help and do my job in the states to make the birthing experience even just a little bit better for some of the mothers, but many of the things are not practiced here and are not accepted. I needed to constantly remind myself that this is why I am here. To learn about a new culture, a different way of doing things, and to bring what I have learned back to the states. To be a better nurse, a well-rounded nurse, a nurse who practices cultural humility and cultural adaptability. Tomorrow is theatre day (operating room) so send good vibes my way so that maybe I will be better.
Spent the afternoon after lunch at home reading my book and collecting my thoughts. I attempted to go out with the other volunteers but was exhausted and distracted so I removed myself. At this point, I was homesick for not only the US but Peru too. I missed my independence that I have in both places, especially Peru. There was a never ending list of things that I wanted to do, with the other volunteers/friends and by myself. It was easy and always an adventure. Here is very different. It is never a good idea to travel alone even during the day, and I live in such a small village that it takes an entire afternoon and planning to venture outside the village to do more exploring or other activities. I was frustrated. However, there is a gym that is just around the corner from my house that I attempted to go have a good work out and sweat out all of the bad vibes, but then I got there, I found that had cancelled the classes for the night. ugh.
Ended the day, getting cleaned up in the bathroom and a giant cockroach climbed out of the sink drain while I was brushing my teeth... had to chase it around the bathroom for while before I was able to kill it. Scared me half to death when I discovered it running at full speed toward me.
Homesick. I was incredibly spoiled in Peru. Wifi in my house... so lucky and so convenient. Since I live in such a small village here, wifi does not exist... not in the house, not in town, not for about 25 minutes outside the village. It is proving very difficult for me to not talk with my family, boyfriend, and friends for this long. The time difference makes it that much harder. I miss everyone. But. tomorrow is a new day.... vent session over. Looking forward to waking up refreshed and ready to move on.
The one good thing about the day, work. Just proves how much I love my job as a labor and delivery nurse and how much I strive to keep learning. I want to know more. I want to be a bomb ass nurse. I want to be the nurse that my patients are so happy to see when I walk in the door.